Monday, 23 June 2014

Consulting Services

I have a number of marketable skills that are sadly underused. So I am offering myself up as a consultant to those who would need such things. Naturally I don't have any chance of being paid for anything, but let's instead say that my rates are negotiable.

Game Design Consulting
  • Rationalizing numerical aspects of a game (Game Balance). Examples here and here.
  • Ensuring readability, consistency and ease of use in written rules. Examples see Oracle reviews.
  • Testing new player experience. Examples WoW patch 4.0.1 reviews.
I have a demonstrated history of recommending game changes to Blizzard on forums that are subsequently implemented, of finding mistaken rulings in Magic: the Gathering from the official rules team, and I once ran a successful campaign to change the value of cheese in the defunct MMORPG Glitch.

Internet Argument Consulting
  • Determining the winner of an argument.
  • Arbitrating the outcome of arguments.
  • Coaching on out-arguing internet trolls.
I have successfully argued trolls in numerous occasions (Examples here and here). I am capable of recognizing when someone has presented a superior position to mine and conceding.

Web Toy Design

I'll make web toys for you like the ones you can find on my site.

Perplexing Consulting
  • Pure genius
  • Conscious control of muscles at sides of eyes to mimic human expression
  • Additive morality, verified prophecy, utter madness
Contact for possibilities.

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